Break Through to the Beginning
I experienced a breakthrough while painting in my studio last week. I’ve never really experienced anything like it in my 18 years of oil painting and 26 years of being an artist (my mom says I’ve been drawing since I was 2 years old!).
I showed the painting to my friend and teacher of transformation, myth, and beyond, Dominique Sire, and my art teacher Ann Marie Ferreira. After their reflections sank in, I knew that this painting was one I’d been waiting for. I sent a photo of it to family and friends, and each person saw something completely different in the painting. They also couldn’t figure it out. Whenever I encounter a piece of art in which I can’t figure out how the artist made it, I get really excited. I can stare at it for hours, taking notes, trying to see what’s going on beneath the surface. I love a good mystery! My favorite works of art are those that invoke different feelings in every person who experiences them. I’ve never had quite that response from others before with my own art.
I’ve been excitedly working all day in my studio ever since this special painting emerged. I haven’t felt this consistently inspired and productive probably ever.
And then this morning as I began to paint, I felt overwhelmed with fear. Could I ever make another painting like this? Would I ever be able make something better?
I kept painting. And I remembered something that Dominique once said: wholeness is inclusive, and in order to transform fear, we have to accept it and integrate it. I knew I had to do my best to include it in my paintings and allow the fear to transform through the act of painting.
Somewhere along the way, the fear melted away. I had a really good day.
This recent experience followed an intense and sometimes very painful period of time in which I was learning how to love and let go. My teachers Dominique and Scott Picard showed me how to navigate this, and they have been there for me at every step of the journey. They have changed my life in many more immeasurable ways. Thank you both from the bottom of my heart.
Now, let’s begin!